It's over

There are a couple break ups in the news and I'm sure you don't care, but here it is anyway:


"Melissa and Matt LeBlanc have decided to end their marriage of three years," the actor's rep, Joe Libonati, said in a statement. "The dissolution is amicable. They remain devoted parents and friends. For the sake of their family, they ask that their privacy be respected at this time."

First his show tanks, now his marriage. Bummer.


"Rap mogul Russell Simmons and his wife Kimora Lee Simmons are splitting, a rep for Kimora confirms to PEOPLE. An announcement is expected later today. A spokesperson for Russell had no comment. Russell, 48, and Kimora, 30, married in 1998 and have two daughters: Ming Lee Simmons, 6, and Aoki Lee Simmons, 3. Both girls model for Baby Phat Clothing, Kimora's offshoot of her husband's Phat Farm clothing line."

Thanks to "Pink is the new blog" for the photos.

And in hook ups news...

Rumor is that Jessica Simpson and Dane Cook are getting pretty friendly on the set of their new movie "Employee of the Month." They have been seen holding hands and spending a lot of time together. Wow, Dane has really come a long way from having a 10 minute stand up bit on Comedy Central way back when. I have always been a HUGE fan of his, so I think it's great. He should go for it. And it's time Jessica got out there. Nick has already dated half the girls in Los Angeles.

By the way, this is a really bad photo of Dane. To see a more acurate example of his hotness, go to my archives and check out January. Gotta love a guy with a great sense of humor!

Woah!

If you're one of the few lucky enough to have heard Lucianos version of the Iranian Bruce Lee guy, you'll totally get this picture and think it's so fricken hilarious that it might take you 10 full minutes to stop laughing and catch your breath.

If you haven't heard Luciano tell this story, you have no idea what you're missing. For $10 a pop, I'll see what I can do. Trust me, it's worth it.

Who are these two love bird smooching in Malibu?

well, it's Ryan Seacrest (isn't he gay?) and Teri Hatcher. Yes you heard right. What a weird couple. He's hot and she's....old.

Yes, they're making out. But the kiss just looks so awkard. As if Ryan is gay and is kissing a girl to try and put rumors to rest. Click on the photo to see it bigger and you'll see what I mean. Go on, take a look at the closed mouth scariness. I guess it could be considered kinda cute...if they were 11 years old and it was the first time they had ever kissed. Eww.

Check out my grill y'all!

How funny is this super imposed photo of Britney?
Is it weird that this almost looks ok on her? I guess it couldn't get much worse than the way she really looks these days. The clothes she wears are truly hideous and I can't believe that she thinks she's looking good. It's just so sad. Has she fallen so far that a blinged out grill actually looks kind of normal on her?

But I don't think all is lost. I honestly think that she could make a huge comeback if she did the folllowing three things:

1)Get a stylist (she needs one BAD)
2)Dump K-Fed. Now!
3)Put out a hot new song

If she does those three things, it will be like this whole bare foot in the gas station-eating cheetos and red bull thing never happened. The public will forgive her, because she's Brit, and there was a time that she gave us the hot tracks. Remember "I'm a slave 4 U..." you can't lie...that's a great song. My point is, if Mariah can do it, so can Brit.

Need a ride?

If you need a new car, why settle for some boring ride off the lot when you can own a comic genius' wheels? Stan Lee has his 1987 Mercedes-Benz for sale on Ebay. His autograph is on the dash but he'll slap one on anywhere you wish. Another selling point he's pushing is that countless celebritys have sat their bottoms on his leather seats. Mmkay. Bidding is $5400 and there's only 4 hours left. Jump to it.


You missed your chance to own a car that once belonged to a "Laguna Beach" star. Don't get excited, it's not Stephen. It's LO. She had her 2004 Jetta Volkswagen up for auction on Ebay. Is this a new trend with semi-celebs?

Hey, maybe Derrick from The Gauntlet 2 will sell his ride and then we can all pool together to buy it for Erik. Oooh, we could paint a huge pitbull/Derrick collage on the hood like the lowriders that have big boobed bikini girls. Come on, Erik would do it for us!

Adios Chicken Little

This explains why that Harry Potter pip squeak lasted so long on American Idol. It's a website that encourages you to vote for the worst contestants so that they make it the furthest. That's just plain stupid.

They also have a whole section on that naughty little minx Kelly Pickler. They're trying to tear her down by exposing that she's not as dumb as she pretends she is. They sound really angry with her and seem pretty determined to get people to vote her off. Well, that's not very nice. One thing I will say is this. Her prom dress is terrible skanky and I'm disturbed that her parents let her out of the house with that much skin showing at that age (or any age for that matter.) If people can tell that you're not wearing any underwear, that might be a clue that you've gone too far. I'm sure Simon has this photo taped to his bathroom mirror. Perv!

The Best Time of Day to Do Just About Anything

I'm always looking for ways to simplify my life. For this reason, I love the magazine "Real Simple." It always has great little tips and suggestions on how to save money, remove a stubborn stain, reupholster my love seat and other valuable nuggets of info. Yes, it all sounds very Martha Stewart, which so isn't me. But they do it in a very slick and hip way so that you don't even realize you're gaining this great life lessons. For instance, did you know that when you're done with your ketchup bottle, you can wash it out and use it for your pancake batter. They'll come out perfectly shaped without the mess. Pretty good, right?

Haven't you always wondered when the best time to book a last minute flight is? (It's on Wednesday from midnight to 2am.) What about the best time to take a photo? (Late morning or early afternoon because it gives you a few hours to wake up and get the puffiness out of your face.) Real Simple magazine has all these pressing questions answered for you in one handy article. My personal life saver? "When should you go on a safari?" And to think, I almost went during the wrong season!

12 years later

Well, here we are, the old school crew! The first photo was taken in 1993 at Erik's house and the second photo is a little recreation we did at Lanie's house in 2005. We don't look quite as fit and tanned, but I guess not having 3 months off every summer will do that to a person. (Thanks to my homeskillet Lanie for scanning the first photo for me!)

"Is he in limbo, hell, or just Costa Mesa?"

Are you watching the new (and last) season of The Sopranos? There's going to be 20 episodes this season! It's like 2 rolled into one! They supersized the show and it's a good thing. 12 episoded would just not be enough to wrap up the lives of all these dark and complicted peeps.

We have all waited so long for it's return and in the first episode, Tony gets capped by Uncle Junior! They can't kill him, right? They just re-negotiated for more money per episode. I guess he could make a fortune lying in bed pretending to be in a coma. Lucky bastard.

Matt and I go over to Shane and Fiona's every Sunday so we can eat dinner and watch the drama unfold together. I think we're all in aggreance that the second episode was like a big acid trip. With Tony in a coma and having bizarre dreams about himself living the life of a traveling salesman.. You'd think that would be enough for him to snap out of it, but no. He is still lying there, unconscious, with breathing tubes shoved down his throat.

You should have heard us jump out of our seats and cheer when Costa Mesa was mentioned. Check us out, C to tha M making a guest appearance on a big mob family crime drama. Nice!

Check out this article that gives some interesting comparisons to "Death of a Salesman." (thanks Fi, and you're right...what did Costa Mesa ever do to HBO?) We counted 3 dead bodies in the first episode, not a bad start. Want to know the body count for every season? Go here and pay your respects. Confused on who's related to who? Go here and check out the family tree. Wanna talk like you're part of the family? Go here and learn the lingo.

I still miss Adrianna. The only thing better than her hoochy wardrobe, ghetto long finger nails and big, big hair was hearing her yell "Chriiistaafaa!"

Ahh, the good old days.

Fade to Black

Why? Why? Why? I thought Taylor would be the last to sell out just to try and get more votes. Guess I was wrong. He's conforming to those American Idol tools who always make over the contestants to look about 40 years older than they really are. TMZ. com has this to share:

"Taylor Hicks is about to wash that grey right out of his hair. TMZ has learned, beginning next week, the 'A.I.' contestant will undergo a transformation. Each week, over the next few, Hicks grey will become less prominent. Bottom line -- the grey is gonna go, just not all at once."

Boo Taylor. Boo.

Happy Birthday Matty!

We celebrated Matt's birthday on Saturday and to say it was off the hook would be a severe understatement.

There is no possible way I can describe it in detail because it was just too, too rad. Here is a brief description. There were shots, food, dancing, shots, onesie pajamas with the footises, clothes swapping, weenies in blankets, dance battles, toilet humor, cupcakes, super hero masks, shots, ganstas, Westside's, Eastside's, Mangina's, Free Beer's, family, friends, strangers that became friends...it was THE place to be. Check it all out on my clubphoto page.

E-Doggs Bliz-ogg

So I have a kick ass friend of mine that I've know since high school called Erik. He's this clever, neurotic, hyper, hilarious, genuine, brilliant man. One night we were trying to teach him how to act more gansta so that maybe MTV would pimp his ride...and he tried to be all "whaa! No you diiiidn't!" He was aight...but not totally solid on his vocab and spittin' words skills. So I thought this would maybe help him visualize himself as having more street cred.

E-Doggy has this complete obsession with all things google. He lives and breathes for it and even writes posts about what he googled that day. His blog is all about trying new things this year, so I thought I'd help him out with one. Be a true PIMP like Snoop for one whole day. Talk like him. Dress like him. Smoke the pot like him. To help him commit 100%, I thought I'd give him a little help. May I present to you. Gizoogle.com

This is the down ass shit for all you gangstas that be trippin. It basically changes everything from "white mans vocab" to making it read like Snoop D to that O double G was reading it.

For example, if you google Erik's wonderful and witty blog, it come's up with this description:
my year of new things
Name:Erik Patterson: Location:Los Angeles, CA. I want to have a unique, new year. Do 365 things I never done before.

But if you type the exact same thing into Gizoogle.com, it translates it into this:
Mah Year Of New Rhymin'
Name:Erik Patterson . Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay: Locatizzles Angeles, CA. I want ta have a unique, new year cuz its a pimp thang.

Ok, so here's an a little piece of his blog from today:
"Until this one random day. Like, a year later. I had just finished eating dinner at Fred 62's on Vermont Ave. and as I was walking to my car I saw her standing on the street, talking with some friends. I immediately recognized her as the girl who I'd had the really great hug with a year earlier, but I'm not sure I remembered her name. (In fact, I'm really bad with names in general, so I'm pretty certain I didn't remember it.) "

And now from Gizoogle....
"Until this one random day. Like, a year baller. I had just finished frontin' rappa at Fred 62's on Vermont Ave. n as I was walk'n ta mah ride I saw her stand'n on tha street, rapping wit some friends. I immediately recognized her as tha gizzle who I'd had tha really bootylicious hug wit a year earlia, but I'm not sure I remembered her nizzle . Bow wow wow yippee yo yipee yay. (In fizzact, I'm really bad wit names in general, so I'm pretty certain I didn't rememba it.) "

Don't you just feel more like a down ass player already? I think Erik has this in him. I can totally see him hanging in the crib with the Godfather himself..Snoop Dogg. Hey, they make a good team. They should make a movie together, like Lethal Weapon 10!

Peace out bitches!

Project Star Wars

Season 2 of Project Runway has come to an end (Chloe? Are you serious?) and I'm going to really miss the silly hijinx of Tim Gunn, Andre and Santino. I think they should do a another project together and what better than a Star Wars movie? I mean, come on...Andre is so flippin' cute as Princess Leia that it would be pure insanity not to.

A day in Natalies life

I love me some Portman. Ever since I saw "The Professional" over 10 years ago, I was impressed. At only 11 years old, she pulls off this intense and insane role.

If you didn't catch her on SNL this past Saturday, you missed another great "SNL Digital Short." I swear, they'd have a much better show if they just did a bunch of these. Just like "Chronicals of Narnia," it was fricken fantastic. It was basically a day in her life and she torn it up! I love Natalie Portman because she totally put it on the line. She swears, she grabs her crotch, and she could actually make it as a legit homegirl. Check out the clip here. She looks super hot with the short hair and I think that she just might have a future in gangsta rap. Holla!

Reunited, and it feels so gooood

LOOK! It's Nicole and DJ AM and it looks like they're back together. Woo hoo! And I don't mean that in a sarcastic way either. I know it's pathetic that I even care, but I love Nicole and I'm just hoping that AM can get her to eat a hamburger or two. Then they can live happily ever after!

Santino might do it

Jesse and I were discussing how good "Project Runway" is this season and how we can't wait for the the finale. I have wanted Daniel V to win this whole time, but I wasn't all that wowed by his designs for Olympus Fashion Week. Surprisingly, I liked Santino's designs the best. I was impressed that he managed not to hot glue half a Christmas tree onto the clothes and just let them speak for themselves. By the way, isn't this the gayest photo of him? He almost looks like he's going to go down his pants to show us his red lobster.


Speaking of Red Lobster, I love Tim Gunn. I honestly think he should have his own show. He's classic and proper but not afraid to jump right in there and play with Santino. He's totally into the whole "Where's Andre" thing at even wanted to film a skit of them at Red Lobster. I love a guys with a sense of humor. They should get rid of Klum and let Tim run this show on his own. And maybe have Andre guest host with him every now and then.

I read some exciting news on the wonderful thing we call the internet:
"Perhaps the least surprising news of the month came late yesterday, when Bravo announced that it had renewed Project Runway for a third season. Last year, we waited almost a month after the finale when Bravo
finally decided to order a second season.

This renewal comes two days before the finale of that second season.
Casting calls for Project Runway 3 will be held in Los Angeles, Miami, Chicago, and New York, with last-years stop Houston apparently being replaced by Chicago this time around. Unlike last year, casting begins immediately: later this month. The show will be in LA March 18 and 19, Miami on March 21, Chicago on March 23, and New York on March 25, 26, and 27. Clearly, they expect to have the biggest turnout in New York. To apply, you need 'three clothing looks of your own design plus a picture portfolio, and a live model is recommended, but not required."

Carry on!

Save the date bitches

Holy Crap! I have finally sent out our "save the date" magnets ..... and now there's no turning back. They're out there in the universe and now everyone is expecting me to show up and go through with this whole wedding thing .... now what am I going to do??

Ok, I hope you know I'm kidding. If you know me at all, you know that I am super excited about getting married and it actually can't come soon enough. Besides the fact that the girls don't have bridesmaid dresses yet, and I haven't even picked out invitations, and we don't know where we're going on our honeymoon... and the weirdest thing? I'm not really freaked out about it because I know that everything will come together. And to be honest, as long as I can look at my tall drink of water at the end of the night and call him my hubby, I'll be over the moon.

It's also a special day today because it happens to be exactly 6 months until "the big day." "Our special day" as people like to call it. I think that sounds like an afterschool special, so we won't be calling it that. Matt and I have been engaged forever and so for the actual day to be so close, it's awesome. As cheesy as it sounds, I simply can't wait to be Mrs. Kincaid. I couldn't ask for a more amazing man to share my life with. Matt and I just fit. We get each other and we make each other laugh. And that's so hot.

Another reason that today is a big day is because tonight, Matt and I are going to find out our finacial fate. We're meeting with a family friend that owns a mortgage company and we will see if she laughs in our faces. We want to stay in Costa Mesa, and there are a lot of great places to live, it's just a matter of what we can afford. We plan on buying in June and this is the first step in a very long process.

I've had my eye on this little beauty for some while, although it's a little bit out of Costa Mesa. But on the plus side, it comes with it's own security!

Wish us luck, because what happens at this meeting tonight will pretty much determine our fate. No pressure. It's only our future.