Is TomKat real?

Will someone please explain TomKat to me? I just don't understand how or what they are. Girlfriend/boyfriend? Lovers? Friends? Aliens? The whole thing is just way to far fetched for my liking. They have this crazy whirlwind, jumping-on-couches kind of courtship and within a blink of an eye, they're engaged and have a bun in the oven. And somethings up with that bun becasue it keeps changing size! One day it's protuding like she's got twins in there, and then suddenly, it just looks like she's retaining water and is feeling bloated. Which is it? (click on the photo to see it bigger.) And I don't know about you, but between all the soccer games (tom's kids) that they go to (and make out!!!) and popping up at every premire and red carpet event, i'm a little sick of having it all shoved down my throat. Hmm...maybe that's how Katie feels?

Would Tom really try and hold one over on us? Is it true that he's gay and this is merely a slick PR fueled diversion? (to my Gays: discuss and share please.) And if so, why can't he just come out of the closet like a real man? There is definitly something not right about him...like at any moment he's going to peel back his face to reveal the inner workings of a high tech robot or something. Ok, fine. You're a robot Tom. You're a big, fancy, gay robot. Good for you. Just get it over with so we don't have to watch any more of that awful, uncomfortable and so obviously posed "dip and kiss" on the red carpet, and the soccer games, and the grocery store....