These tips could save your life

I had to share with you the brilliant writings of my homeslice Lanie. She does that whole "black friday" thing every year and is in the thick of the bargin shopping madness. I admire her for getting up so early, braving the crowds and coming away with some super sweet deals. Here, in her own words, are some tips:

Top 10 things I learned about Black Friday, by Lanie McGill

Yeah, I braved it. I brave it every year it seems, and I also notice that I am getting up earlier and earlier to meet the crowds. It's a little sickening I guess, I notice the gasps and looks of total disbelief that I get from other people when I tell them my shopping plan. This year was no exception, but admist the udder chaos and pandemonium, I took a moment to think about some of the lessons learned during this truly commercial experience.

10. If you aren't a regular shopper, and you don't have a concept of how much an item typically costs, you will get ripped off on Black Friday. Not every sale is truly a sale. Learn this, know this, live by this. If not, don't shop Black Friday!

9. Never let your mom go alone to the electronics department of a store and say "I'll catch up with you later."

8. Carts aren't necessarily used for carrying stuff. They are used for protection and as battering rams to get you safely from one department to the next. No cart? You're on your own, buddy.

7. Just because someone has a pile of electronic devices in their arms, piled up to their chin, does not mean that said items are a "good deal." Even target uses shills people.

6. Having the voucher does not guarantee you shit.

5. Upon waiting in line, it's common for people to get angry when the store runs out of the "free stuff" even though nobody knew they were handing out free stuff until they got in line.

4. Manners and random acts of kindness are a sign of weakness. You will be taken advantage of in every possible way.

3. Typical cart etiquette does not apply. If you leave your cart unattended, your purchases will be picked through and treated as if they were "go backs." Don't expect to return to a full cart.

2. If the store opens at 4am, don't ever think that you can stroll in at 4:08 and assume that you will still be within the first 250 people to receive your free gift card. Sweetheart, they were out of them at 4:01.

And the top 1 thing I learned at Black Friday:
1. Just because it's a good deal doesn't mean you have to buy it. Trust me, the retail gods couldn't care, because if you don't buy it, some other sucker will.